I. Introduction
As a seasoned programmer who has progressed from IT operations to full-stack development, and finally to a software architecture position, I've experienced a long career journey and accumulated rich experience. In my last job, the company had good development prospects, offered me a decent salary package, and my direct supervisor was not only a tech guru but also consistently committed to supporting my growth.
However, despite all this, I still chose to resign without another job lined up before the New Year.
When many friends learned of my decision, they were shocked. Some questioned why I would give up such a great opportunity, while others were more direct, believing I should at least wait until I received my year-end bonus before leaving. I completely understand their surprise, but this was indeed a decision I made after long and careful consideration.
I've even decided to give myself a whole year off.
II. Reasons for Quitting Without Another Job
In fact, the main reason I chose to quit without another job lined up is quite simple: my body could no longer bear the pressure. This was also the trigger point for me to start deeply reflecting on and reviewing my career.
Therefore, my choice to quit wasn't based on a single pure reason, but a decision made after thinking about my entire career and combining it with the current situation.
1. Health Reasons
For years, I've been plagued by physical discomfort, mainly manifesting as frequent migraines and dizziness. After years of examinations, I've had multiple CT scans, visited numerous departments, and had my cervical spine, blood vessels, and many body indicators tested. However, all experts believed I was in good health, with some indicators even significantly better than others.
Yet, I was often troubled by migraines and dizziness every day, unable to think deeply, feeling light-headed when walking, as if my feet were treading on cotton. These conditions were worse during times of heavy overtime and enormous pressure.
Most of the time, I relied on medication to alleviate symptoms. Sometimes the pain was unbearable, and I could only frantically take painkillers. So, besides my computer, my bag was full of those medications, and carrying painkillers with me became the norm.
Especially during my last job, I experienced tremendous pressure and frequent overtime, almost relying on painkillers every day. After working overtime late into the night and returning home, my head was chaotic and dizzy, unable to concentrate on thinking, which also seriously affected my relationship with my family... I would often wake up in pain in the middle of the night...
In my last psychiatric diagnosis, the expert told me that all these symptoms were caused by excessive anxiety...
So, what exactly was I anxious about?
2. Work Situation
Although my last job was good overall, no job can be called "perfect."
Day after day of overtime not only made me feel physically tired but also put great pressure on my mind. I won't go into too much detail, but this job allowed me to grow a lot in areas outside of technology.
However, this job also taught me a profound lesson: in the face of company interests, every worker appears small and insignificant, like a particle extinguished in the dust.
3. Career Review
Looking back on my career, I deeply felt two points:
- Year after year of hard work has left me physically and mentally exhausted
- I put in tremendous effort at work, but often gained little, and couldn't even see direct results
In fact, until this year, I had never seriously considered the possibility of quitting without another job lined up. I always believed that I needed to find a job and maintain my livelihood through hard work.
However, this year, many things completely overturned my view of life. Many things I had encountered and feelings I had experienced in the past surged back, only now I started to re-examine them.
I want to share a memorable and very typical experience.
Many years ago, just a few days after the New Year, our client needed a promotional activity involving an H5 page and a backend management system. The requirements weren't fully clear, but the big boss confidently promised the client to complete the task within two days. After receiving this very vague requirement, the product manager held a meeting to break down the requirements, but ended up confused. After finally figuring it out, the task was handed over to the design department. After the design was completed, all the work fell on me alone: developing the frontend H5, the frontend of the management backend, as well as the development of two backends, and finally, I was also responsible for deployment and launch.
So I used two all-nighters plus one day to complete all the work. During the late-night overtime, I found that the requirement logic wasn't self-consistent, the design was missing some images, and so on. I had to grit my teeth and make it work.
Finally, after going live, the client said it wasn't like this, it should be like that here, like this there, and so on. The leader urged for modifications, emphasizing that the client was very important and the requirements were urgent. So I had to continue working overtime to make changes.
Even after the changes were made, the end result was that the client hardly used our product. I wanted to seek an explanation, but neither the leader nor the client could give a definite response.
I've encountered many similar situations, and when I think back, I'm still full of confusion.
I really don't understand, what was this work for? Because I was young and healthy and could handle it? Or because I wanted to believe in empty promises?
For many things, others would say "I can't do it," and it naturally fell on me. I really couldn't understand, does being more capable mean having to take on more tasks? The salary wasn't much different either...
For many things, I found the leader's decisions sounded absurd, and in the end, I even had to take the blame. I really couldn't understand...
For many things, why did the leader always only believe what they believed?
These things, I really couldn't understand. I asked my colleagues and friends, and it seemed everyone had similar experiences and feelings, but they were more willing to endure silently for the sake of their salary.
4. Summary
Although health factors were the main driver for my decision to quit without another job lined up, in reality, what I gave up wasn't just the job, but the past lifestyle.
Now, I'm in the last carefree period of my life, with little family responsibility, little social pressure, and no worries about mortgage or car loans. It's only in this last carefree stage of life that I boldly chose to quit without another job!
III. Feelings After Quitting
After quitting, the calmness I felt was unprecedented.
During my work period, my mood was like a carousel, constantly fluctuating every day. I often felt exhausted. Looking at other relaxed and happy colleagues, I couldn't help but wonder if I was taking everything too seriously.
Now, everything has changed.
I never imagined that I could enjoy such freedom. No boss arranging my work, no need to report what I've done, no need to worry about how my actions would affect the company. No trivial matters disturbing me, no one making me do work I don't want to do. I only need to be responsible for myself, and that's enough!
I experienced an unprecedented inner peace, as if my long-suppressed emotions finally got released...
IV. Plans and Expectations for the Future
Indeed, I've made the decision not only to quit without another job lined up, but I've also decided to give myself a year-long vacation. For many years, I've always been rushing around, eagerly pursuing my idealized life. In the coming year, I want to slow down the pace of life temporarily and do things I truly aspire to do.
Ideals are always tempting, but reality can't be ignored. Finance is a challenge I must face. Fortunately, I've found an offline part-time job related to technology through a friend. Working half a day occasionally can earn enough income to maintain daily expenses, and that's enough.
For most of the time, I plan to invest in deepening my technology stack learning. At the same time, I also desire to touch fields outside of technology, such as product design, psychology, economics, and other knowledge areas that I haven't delved into but are extremely important. I plan to try independently developing products I like, which is also part of my next plan. In addition, I hope to improve my spoken English, strengthen my exercise routine, and so on. I have many things I want to achieve in my heart, places I want to explore, people I want to meet... everything is in the plan!
I hope that in this new year, I can forge ahead in technology, and more importantly, through this process, I can understand myself more deeply and clearly know my true needs and goals. I will use courage and determination to plan my own future and pave the way for my own life.
In the future, I also plan to actively explore the possibility of freelancing. I hope freelancing can give me more time and freedom, allowing me more space to passionately engage in the technology field I love, and find a balance between work and life.
I will welcome every possible future.